Category Archives: Hipsters

5 out of 9

Okay, so I haven’t seen all of this year’s Oscar contenders for Best Motion Picture, but then again I didn’t last year. Or the year before that. Or any year, honestly. Except 1958, but that’s only because of the time … Continue reading

Posted in Famous People, Hatred, Hipsters, Lists, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Special Event | 6 Comments

What Hath Starbucks Wrought?

The above image is not a joke. It’s not a Photoshop or a meme or a meme-o-shop or whatever the hell else it’s called when you idiots put stupid words over pictures of ugly cats and throw them on the … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Hatred, Hipsters, Man-Tears, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Rage | Leave a comment

Resolve Yourself

I don’t make New Years resolutions. Ever. “How?” you might be asking, or possibly “why?” Unless, of course, you’re somehow very confused/still drunk, in which case you’re probably asking “Where?” or “Shall I put your call through to Manitoba-237, Mrs. … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, BBQ, BroCast is Awesome, Celebration, Current Events, Drinking, Famous People, Hatred, Hipsters, Historicalities, Hope, Lists, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Rage, Sci-Fi | 3 Comments

Some Questions I’d Like Answered

Who the fuck stole my chair? Was it one of the few coworkers that don’t annoy me as part of a humorous office prank? Because that’s okay. If it’s some assholes in one of the conference rooms, I want them … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Breasts, Current Events, Famous People, GI Joe, Happy Stuff, Hatred, Headlines, Hipsters, Lists, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, SEX, Travel | 12 Comments

I Can Show You the World…

Today, on this wet, miserable Thursday, I was able to perform one of the finest and most thrilling tasks a proud American citizen can do: pay an extra sixty dollars to have my passport renewal expedited because I realized it … Continue reading

Posted in 'Merica, Assholes, Breasts, Drinking, Happy Stuff, Hatred, Hipsters, Lists, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Travel, USA! USA!, Weddings | 2 Comments

If You Want a Picture of the Future…

Imagine there being so many dance/talent shows on television that every single person in America is a contestant on one – forever. Imagine Taylor Swift getting dumped but instead of writing another generic pop-country song, she tears the man’s throat … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Breasts, childhood, Current Events, Death, Drinking, Famous People, Hatred, Headlines, Hipsters, Kill Yourself, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Quotables, Rage, Sci-Fi, SEX, Ugly People, Wacky Animals | 5 Comments

Things You Like Are Terrible

Earlier today I was chatting with one of our office’s current disposable menial laborers/unknowing organ farms (I believe the colloquial term for them is “summer interns”) about film school. Specifically, how terrible it is and that the rotten people who … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Drinking, Hatred, Hipsters, Kill Yourself, Lists, Movies, Nerd Stuff, Paul is Grumpy, Quotables, Rage, Veterans | 1 Comment