Category Archives: Headlines

Some Questions I’d Like Answered

Who the fuck stole my chair? Was it one of the few coworkers that don’t annoy me as part of a humorous office prank? Because that’s okay. If it’s some assholes in one of the conference rooms, I want them … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Breasts, Current Events, Famous People, GI Joe, Happy Stuff, Hatred, Headlines, Hipsters, Lists, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, SEX, Travel | 12 Comments

If You Want a Picture of the Future…

Imagine there being so many dance/talent shows on television that every single person in America is a contestant on one – forever. Imagine Taylor Swift getting dumped but instead of writing another generic pop-country song, she tears the man’s throat … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Breasts, childhood, Current Events, Death, Drinking, Famous People, Hatred, Headlines, Hipsters, Kill Yourself, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Quotables, Rage, Sci-Fi, SEX, Ugly People, Wacky Animals | 5 Comments

Cheer Up, Stupid!

What a shitty goddamn day. It’s somehow warm and clammy out at the same time, like a fat guy’s ass crack. The sky is drab and looks like it might almost rain, which would be a nice change from just … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, childhood, Current Events, Famous People, Happy Stuff, Headlines, Hope, Lists, O Brave New World..., Old 'n' Angry, Paul is Grumpy, Sunshine and Lollipops | 4 Comments

Hate the Playa, But Should We Hate the (Ender’s) Game?

Sometimes, people who exhibit great brilliance in one facet of life can still be assholes. Sometimes just minor assholes, sometimes big ol’ goatse.cx gaping assholes. Great writers are no exception to this rule. Why, look at me. Over here! See … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Current Events, Equality, Famous People, Hatred, Headlines, Movies, Nerd Stuff, Rage, Sci-Fi | 1 Comment

Giant Robots Punching Monsters and Fritos: What Gives Me Hope

We suck. All of us. Everyone, even the people not reading this blog. Nay, ESPECIALLY the people who don’t read this blog. They are the suckiest of all. But those of you that do are still pretty terrible as well. … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Canada, Celebration, childhood, Current Events, Death, Drinking, Hatred, Headlines, Hope, Man-Tears, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Rage, Sunshine and Lollipops | 1 Comment

The View From My New Apartment

It’s glorious. It’s spectacular. It’s splendiferous. It’s an awe inspiring vista of majesty that will make even the most heartless, black-souled atheist like myself question the idea that anything other than a benevolent, loving being could have formed such a … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, Current Events, General Ranting, Headlines, IRS, Marine Stuff, Nerd Stuff, Obama, Weddings | Leave a comment

Happy 64th Birthday, Billy Joel!

A great poet once wrote “They say it’s your birthday/*guitar riff*/It’s my birthday too!” I can’t recall the work it’s from, though I’m pretty sure it was either the Beatles’ classic “Birthday” or Alfred Tennyson’s “The Charge of the Light … Continue reading

Posted in Celebration, childhood, General Ranting, Headlines, Old 'n' Angry, SEX, Special Event | Leave a comment