Category Archives: Headlines

Happy Thoughts

I need some cheering up. I came off an awesome weekend in my beloved Las Vegas celebrating the impending doom of former-ish staff member P. D. Montgomery’s bachelorhood basking in the bro-tastic afterglow. Then some degenerate on the plane home … Continue reading

Posted in GI Joe, Happy Stuff, Hatred, Headlines, Hope, Lists, Man-Tears, Marine Stuff, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Sci-Fi, SEX, Sunshine and Lollipops | Leave a comment

This Year in Hilarity (So Far)

Many of you fans out there probably wonder where I, a respected drunken fake journalist, get my news from. The papers? The TV? Bing? Of course not, you silly bastard! You and your ideas. Nobody reads the papers, TV is … Continue reading

Posted in 'Merica, Assholes, Current Events, Death, Famous People, Happy Stuff, Headlines, Hope, O Brave New World..., Old 'n' Angry, Paul is Grumpy, Sunshine and Lollipops, Tommy Moon | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Bro-ies

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come. The year is at an end and award season is fast approaching. The red carpets are being rolled out, TV and film executives are salivating onto their comely mistresses, and terribly boring people … Continue reading

Posted in 'Merica, Assholes, Breasts, Canada, Celebration, Current Events, Death, Drinking, Famous People, Happy Stuff, Hatred, Headlines, Lists, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Special Event, Ugly People | 2 Comments

Undah Da Sea (Also, Happy Belated Veterans Day!)

It’s been a good goddamn week so far. Very good, if I do say so myself. And I do. Even if I did have to work on Veteran’s Day. Because my place of employment hates freedom, I assume. Oh sure, … Continue reading

Posted in 'Merica, Assholes, Bioshock 'n' Awe, Celebration, Current Events, Drinking, Famous People, Happy Stuff, Headlines, Marine Stuff, New Episode, O Brave New World..., Party, Paul is Grumpy, Sci-Fi, USA! USA!, Veterans | 4 Comments

Yar? Har!

It’s been a very pirate-y couple of days for me. Starting with the end of┬áthis week’s episode when Eric imparted upon our viewers a swell fun fact about notorious 18th century pirate/huge wuss “Calico” Jack Rackham. Then he got angry … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, Current Events, Death, Drinking, Famous People, Hatred, Headlines, Historicalities, Lists, Movies, Nerd Stuff, O Brave New World..., Paul is Grumpy, Rage | 3 Comments

What I’m Hooked On

Earlier this week, a study conducted at Connecticut College shocked absolutely no one by showing that Oreos can be as addictive as cocaine. From a neurological standpoint, of course. In rats. Regardless, those are some highly amusing, but none too … Continue reading

Posted in Assholes, BBQ, Breasts, Current Events, Drinking, Famous People, Happy Stuff, Headlines, Lists, Nerd Stuff, Paul is Grumpy, SEX, Sunshine and Lollipops, Tommy Moon | 2 Comments

Intro To The Conversational Arts: Say Something, Bitch!

“The art of conversation is dead” is a phrase you tend to read/hear a lot if you enjoy op-eds in the paper (so old people) or hang out with the sort of insufferable human beings who order red wine with … Continue reading

Posted in 'Merica, Assholes, Breasts, Current Events, Death, Famous People, Headlines, Historicalities, Lists, Marine Stuff, Nerd Stuff, Sci-Fi, SEX, Tommy Moon, Ugly People | 1 Comment