Resolve Yourself II – The Resolvening

Just like last year, I’m here to help people become less terrible. And by people I mean you. You suck. I’m great. So here are some New Year’s resolutions to consider if you still haven’t made one. You lazy spaz.

  • Bring back Mayor Rob Ford. Not as a mayor or leader in any capacity, but just in general. That piece of shit was a laugh riot.
  • Make Facebook less crappy.
  • Produce a good film about giant insects attacking a major city. That’s a genre that’s overdue.

    Like this, but good.

    Like this, but good.

  • Watch Twin Peaks. I never have, but it’s one of those things everybody tells everybody else to do.
  • Gain weight. Mix it up this year.
  • Come up with a less annoying ending to Birdman.
  • Give me more time to write this list.
  • Blow me.

Stuff to do. End of list. See you next year/week!

About Paul

By reading this blog, you legally forfeit your right to cry, eat tofu, or watch movies where people kiss in the rain and sh*t!
This entry was posted in Celebration, Lists, Movies, Nerd Stuff, Paul is Grumpy. Bookmark the permalink.

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