Because Santa doesn’t just give away cars

The holiday season may be over, but the ads are still running, like this Infiniti one I keep seeing pop up on Comedy Central.  Take a look for yourself:

The commercial is titled Santa Karma, and I understand what they were trying to do, but I have paid attention, and naturally I have a lot of questions:


I can’t tell where the road ends/sidewalk begins.

1.  Where the hell is this taking place?  And why is this dude is standing right in the middle of the road?

2.  If he is standing on the sidewalk then why is there very little separating pedestrians between traffic on an active roadway?

3.  Where is the woman in the blue coat and hat going in relation to the sidewalk?

Santa is in the tree-killing business?

Is that the same woman in the blue coat?

4. Seriously what is up with the sidewalk in this scene?  And why does Santa have it completely blocked off for foot traffic?

That is inconsiderate, and bad karma.


Our good samaritan buys a coffee for Santa.  How nice!

5.  How does he know how Santa takes his coffee?  Usually Santa Claus is more of a milk and cookies kind of guy.

Also when was the last time that a bell-ringing Santa actually brought out the good in someone?  Serious question.

6.  Did no one while shooting this scene say, “Hey that post in the foreground with the two ornaments?  That kind of looks like a dick.”  Because, seriously, it looks like a dick.  Like an Angry Disney animator hiding naughty things-kind of dick.


Moral of the story, kids: Always follow men in Santa suits up to their hotel rooms.

I am unclear as to the architecture of this place, and why this man is following Santa upstairs.

7.   Maybe I haven’t seen enough architecture styles in my lifetime of travel, but how many buildings feature this sort of design where a massive spiral staircase is flanked by windows?

Also who designed this place, Friedensreich Hundertwasser?


The commercial doesn’t make it clear right away, but I assume that this is the good samaritan’s house.

I also assume that prior to sewing he was taking inventory of his pinecones.

8.  If Santa was wearing his suit how did this man get it?  And wouldn’t that be considered stealing?

And isn’t that bad karma?

9.  Is this Santa’s apartment or hotel?  Wouldn’t this place have immediately tipped off the good samaritan that he could exploit Santa?


Because of his great deed of stealing Santa’s swag the good samaritan gets a car.


That is a lot of window decorating for just one guy.

I’ll never understand how people give each other cars in commercials.

10.  Does Santa also cover the insurance?  Is that lifetime-based?

11.  Is Sirius XM included with the package, or does the GS need to shell out for that separately?

12. Is the car under Santa’s name?

13. Also, who the hell is this good samaritan, and why is his house so massive?

Seriously, check the picture.  Those buildings are connected.


Is the garage to house this vehicle on the other side of the estate, then?

14.  For a man with a house this size was he really ever in desperate need of a car?  Couldn’t Santa have just as easily left a card reading, “A donation has been placed in your name”?

Much better karma.


15.  Did no one shooting this scene say, “Hey those obelisks in the background with the two bulbs?  Those kind of look like dicks.”  Because, seriously, those look like dicks.

For an encore viewing:

Happy Holidays, and cars to everyone!


About Eric

Frankie “The Red Panda” Funkaducciola RIP Uncle Prime
This entry was posted in Drinking, General Ranting, MUTOD, TV, Videos and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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