And you just love it, don’t you? Yeah you do. God how you sicken me. And I bet you’re expecting me to have all sorts of wild tales of adventure from my two weeks worth of missing posts about how great I am and how brilliant all my ideas are, huh? Well, for your information my adventures were all awesome and my ideas were continuously brilliant. I figured out a way to create cold fusion from ham and swiss cheese sandwiches, traveled to Massachusetts twice, forgot how to do the cold fusion thing, took an overcrowded ferry trip across a windy and unforgiving sea, and drank plenty.
Yes, there was Thanksgiving and all its edible trimmings in there somewhere (I won the paper turkey contest my sister’s future mother-in-law held! Well, I tied.). My dad did a lot of singing/complaining through various car rides, and I’ve had Merle Haggard’s Mama Tried stuck in my head for about ten days now. Also I did some real work and some of that there writing I actually get paid to do (check out my great/spiteful holiday shopping advice put upon the InterWEBnets2.5 by the fine folks at Task & Purpose!) and played some video games.
So if you want more details or were expecting a lengthy tale of wonder and eroticism from me, too bad. I had lots to do the last two weeks and I have lots to do today. In particular, I’m emailing my friend Rob photos from the classic 1975 porn Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS before I go to some veteran’s skating even where I will probably drink beer and giggle at my girlfriend after she injures herself on the ice. Yeah, that’s right, I have a girlfriend. You don’t know her. She goes to a different high school. And she’s a model. So suck it. I’ll have something funny next week. Probably.
Now, I’m off to finish this episode of MST3K (season 8, episode 1 The Revenge of the Creature, notable for the small role by a young Clint Eastwood) and then sing in the shower for a while. And just so it’s stuck in your head too: