Let’s watch the NFL continue to miss the mark worse than ESPN.com did when they Autodrafted RG3 for me. 
Allow me to sum the current situation up for you dear reader, on the off chance that you are the sole remaining American who has resisted the allure of formalized carnage that we call the National Football League.

Ray Rice is a very Good player who did a very Bad thing

the aforementioned bad thing.

He did this bad thing in February, which the reader will note, is a very long time ago. He faced a Grand Jury, and The Baltimore Ravens suspended him for two whole games. You can compare this suspension to former Ray Rice Teammate Ricky Williams’ one year suspension for smoking weed.

I’ll allow Bob Saget to sum up my feelings about the insidious threat Marijuana poses to our nations youths

And just in case you think the NFL has become more enlightened in recent years I present the case of Josh Gordon, one of the NFL’s most talented young receivers suspended for an entire year following his second positive drug test. Surely he deserved his lengthy suspension for breaking the law, and the NFL might have a case there, if they had not also suspended Von Miller of the Denver Broncos. Remember, that’s Denver, where weed is legal and the streets are paved with gold. Perhaps we can claim that the NFL is merely trying to protect it’s players’ health, except for the fact that a Harvard Professor recently suggested that medical marijuana may help speed the recovery of players who suffer traumatic head injuries. Traumatic head injuries like the ones the NFL has been downplaying and outright lying about for years.

To summarize, Hit a blunt, get a one year suspension, hit a lady get a two game vacation.

“BUT LEE” you whine, “The NFL just suspended Ray Rice! Indefinitely! This is a great day for all of us! O Frabjulous day! Calooh Callay!”

We’ll get back to your bizarre word choice later, but why are you so excited that the NFL did the only logical thing they could in the face of a PR nightmare? This situation has been in the open for 7 months now, Ray Rice was very forthcoming in the investigation, and the only thing that forced their hand was, of all things, TMZ releasing a second video of the incident. As far as the NFL was concerned the issue was dead and buried, so much so that Roger Goodell, the architect of my Boschian nightmare who has slowly dismantled everything I love about this sport felt able to freely backtrack and admit his negligence. Now let me be clear: If TMZ actually somehow has the moral high ground then you seriously fucked up.

So applaud the NFL if you will Bros, but realize that they have gotten their priorities wrong at every single turn.