As you may recall, several weeks ago I made an awesometacularific journey out to the crappy (read: West) coast of our fine country to visit some dear chums and get shlonkered with them on rum for a week. Great times. And one of the little adventures within that adventure that I…ventured on was a trip to Disneyland. Second time ever, first time since I was about five. And while it was fun (read: I was drunk), I noticed a few warning signs that only a paranoid sci-fi nerd like me could grasp. That under the veneer of tasty sugar and glorious capitalism, there were swirling eddies and undercurrents of darkness. So I made a chart. Have fun!

Comparative Chart of Famous Fictional Dystopias and Disneyland

(click to enlarge)

You’re welcome for another chunk of childhood shattered. Suck it.

So yeah, dystopia’s all around. Life is crap, Mickey’s boot stamping on your face forever, I chose Rapture, etc. But, if it makes you feel any better, it is a pretty sweet hat.

Like you don’t hear the theme music in your head right now.