Happy Spring, BroCast readership! If you didn’t already know, the first day of spring (technically) was Thursday, March 20th. In the wise words of Sterling Archer, “eat a dick, winter.” [He was referring to the jungle, but this applies.] It may not yet feel like spring, but we’ll do our best to hurry it along. To celebrate this much-anticipated season, I have compiled a list of things we will not miss about winter, as well as things to look forward to in the spring. Haha, get it? Spring Forward? …right, I admit it, that was boring.
Why Winter in New York was all things TERRIBLE:
- An inordinate amount of snow storms
- The days that we had rain-snow-hail-death mixes, yet no snow days off from work.
- Static shock as a result of coats on sweaters on scarves on couches on the rug, all made up of different combinations of materials.
- Something about putting on 1,000 items of clothing to then go into air that is so cold it ironically burns the skin off your face makes you a little less willing to…do.
- Knowing everyone on the west coast is warmer than you. Because they keep telling you about it.
BE GONE, WINTER BITCH. It’s time to look ahead and get excited for spring. Sunshiiiiiiiine on my windoowwwww makes me happyyyyy. Yup, that’s a John Denver quote. You’re welcome, Dad.
Now, on to the more uplifting part. Why we’re ready for spring:
1. SPRING HAS SPRUNG. Get with it.
2. Everyone looks cuter. It’s just a good look on people. Spring, by Calvin Klein
3. Picnics. Walks in sunshine. Any excuse to avoid work because it is BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE.