Seriously. Wicked busy day for me and a lot of work left to do. And I’m sure it makes you feel like this:

You should know this.

But that’s the way the cookie gets splooged on. You get no sympathy from me, because I’ll probably be clickety-clacking away on the ol’ laptop keyboard into the wee hours tonight. But I want no sympathy from you either, you jabbering jackass. Because tomorrow I get to wake up and jet off to one of the most splendiferous places in the world:

You should know this, too.

Staff writer P. D. Montgomery (who has either been on an extended sabbatical, or he’s just a lazy assface) is getting de-bachelorized in two months, so some fine bros and I are giving him a stereotypical shitshow weekend in my favorite den of sin. If it’s anything like the last one of these I helped put together, someone will be severely injured. But in a really funny, alcohol-related way!

Seriously, do you know anything?

So, like I said. You’re on your own until Eric posts tomorrow. If you really need me, I’ll be drunk in a suit (either three-piece or bathing) for about 72 hours straight.

You wish you could know this.