I’d heard the commercial music playing in the background for over a week before seeing the actual spot.

Maybe you’ve seen it:

You feel bad for an editor when they don’t have the right footage to work with.  

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the pacing of this commercial, and I can appreciate the ridiculous amounts of layering and compositing, but let’s take a look at it and break it (down) anyway, because no one actually bothered to take notes on continuity.

Either that or everyone assumed that the frenetic cutting would cover up any inconsistencies, which, I assure you, it does, but they’ve gotten away with it for so long, so it is time to take them down a peg.  Keep your eyes peeled the next time you watch this.

bum ba bummm bum bum bummm…stain?

Okay, here is our primary cast, Mr. Blue, Mr. Yellow, and Girl.  Apparently letting a woman off the train first is frowned upon here.

And speaking of here.  Where the hell is “here”?

Chaplin….what?

Also, did any of those guys pay to get on the train?

Because this girl totally crashed into this guy.

The race is on as Blue, Yellow, and Girl are about to “Chinese Fire Drill” this train on their morning commute.

You know, just like we all do.

Babcock and Commonwealth Ave, Boston, MA.  Also, there used to be writing on there

Then they betray the laws of physics and visual depth.

Just like we all do.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BACK, WOMAN?

But it’s cool because then Girl takes the lead.

But somehow gets beaten to this wall by Blue and Yellow, who hangs.

And is then perfectly positioned to make it over this wall of ridiculous width.

In a blink-and-you’ll-miss it moment Blue and Yellow have somehow hopped a fence, or the side of a shipping (or handicap) ramp.  Whatever the structure is, it is kept very deliberately inconspicuous.

Girl is…we assume just there?

I understand that the focus should be is on who is leading, but come on, where is Girl?

More running, we enter an alley:

Blue, Yellow, Girl

Through the alley…

Yellow, Girl, Blue

Through a truck…

The disclaimer “Do Not Attempt” might have only appeared when Yellow darted out into traffic, but really, there’s a lot of shit in here that shouldn’t be attempted.  The legal should ride through the entire thing.

Also, hey Girl is in the lead!

We cut to the (diverse group of) people in the train, waiting for the tag-team.

Three People Waiting!  And is he checking her out?

More running, as Girl loses the lead.

Seriously that is a lot of foot traffic for under a highway overpass.

Like I said, Two People Waiting.

But they make it to the train:  Yellow, Blue, and the loser — Girl.

Where three people fit in the doorway.

And the race is on between New Girl, Black Shirt…

And…McDonalds Colors?

At least New Girl got a headstar–

COME ON!  Seriously?

And once again, no one has paid.  Where is this magical place, because if you ever tried any of this shit in New York, Boston, Chicago, or Melbourne you would be arrested so damn fast by the MTA, MBTA, or other transit authority it would make your head spin.

I’m sure that this was one of those concepts that sounded really cool when spitballing, but then once you start dissecting  it all sort of unravels.

GO BUY THESE.

Let’s face it.  In reality you’re more likely to end up like this: