New York Comic Con started this week.  I think?

I’ve never been to one of these.

The closest I’ve ever been was an opening night midnight-screening of a Harry Potter.  I got a free ticket, and my friend lent me a “Mischief Managed” t-shirt.  That was all I needed.

Or Halloween on the Vegas Strip.

But there’s two kinds three kinds of people who go to these things:  Bloggers/Media People, Fans, and Diehards.

•  Bloggers/Media Peeps are like, the io9.com writers.

•  Fans are like your classic, from-a-distance, respecters of shows and games.  There is a line that these people won’t cross when it comes to dressing up.  Usually that limit is reached when a costume impedes movement, or…

Yep…there’s the line.

•  Diehards – let’s put it this way.  If you have stilts on, you’re probably a diehard.

…yep.

Still, looking at Instagram photos from Comic-Con, it’s sad because if you go with the right group of friends this could actually be a lot of fun.  It’s like the equivalent of one of those old Victorian Parties where everyone wore masks, and since no one knew who anyone was everything was a ruse!

“You think these two would be friends IRL?”

Yep…”Victorian” aka a game that doesn’t take place there…

But it’s fun to imagine what sort of fun things I could be if I ever went to one of these things:

1)  A splicer. (Bioshock)  You get to run around screaming out all sorts of random shit with your favorite wrench or lead pipe constantly asking where the Adam is.

Expectation.

Reality.

BONUS:  If someone is dressed as a Little Sister, you can chase her.

DOUBLE BONUS:  If she has a Big Daddy in tow, you can get your ass kicked!

Done.

2)  Joel.  (The Last of Us)  I don’t shave for a week, put on a green button-down and wear a backpack.  Easy.

BONUS:  If someone is dressed as Ellie you can yell at her.

DOUBLE BONUS:  If Ellen Page is there — even better!

3)  Booker DeWitt.  (Bioshock Infinnite)  I don’t shave for a week, put on some striped pants, a neckerchief, a vest, and wipe away the debt.  Easy.

BONUS:  If someone goes dressed as Elizabeth she can seemingly produce Silver Eagles from nowhere.

DOUBLE BONUS:  You know what that means, DINNER AT TGI FRIDAYS!

4)  Alan Wake  (Alan Wake)  I don’t shave for a week, put on a hoodie and a big grey coat and carry a flashlight.

BONUS:  If no one gets it, you still look like a normal person.

DOUBLE BONUS:  If the power goes out you’re already prepared.

5)  Phillip J. Fry.  (Futurama)  This one I DO have to shave for (damnit), but all I need is to spray my hair orange, wear a white t and a red jacket and I’m set.  I’ve had his demeanor locked down for weeks.

BONUS:  Chances are you may run into Billy West.  Or Matt Groening.

DOUBLE BONUS:  Everyone misses this show, including me, despite my first MUTOD.

6)  Sterling Archer.  (Archer)  This one I also have to shave for (such a damnit), but all I need is a suit, and maybe blue contacts.  And a nice tie–screw it I can’t pull it off.

BONUS:  You’re Archer.

DOUBLE BONUS:  You’re ARCHER.

You’re goddamn right.

7)  Walter White.  (Breaking Bad)  Bald cap, don’t shave for a week, shave out goatee.

BONUS:  The real Walter White did it…in a Walter White mask.

DOUBLE BONUS:  Everyone misses this show…along with, (if not more than) Futurama.

**WILD CARD**

God damn it, Carl.

8)  Carl.  (The Walking Dead)  I do have to shave, but I don’t have to mess with my hair.  I just have to put on a stupid hat and wander around all moody-like with no sense of purpose or direction

BONUS:  I’ll never stay in the house.

DOUBLE BONUS:  This show comes back on Sunday.  Can’t wait to see see if P.D. Monty Phones In Live Blogs that one.

But these all require some effort, and that’s not what I’m going for…but…wait…wait a minute…

….

I figured it out.  It’s kind of cliche, but, at this point and with such a limited time to get my costume together I’m just going to go in the same costume as when I leave my apartment every day:

Self-Portrait, July 2013