Seriously. Son of a bitch. This always happens. I always show up late to the party, and all that is left in the cooler is some Milwaukee’s Best.
It’s the worst to show up late to the party.
It’s even worse if you miss the party altogether, because you never knew it was happening!
We’re on our third day of the government shutdown, which clearly means that there is less institutions being watched, spotted, and monitored.
And here I found out two days ago about this thing called The Silk Road. It sounds like St. Mark’s Street in New York crashed into a King’s Landing market on Westeros with a side of Mafia. Supposedly this thing is like the biggest underground digital black market of stuff. If you want steroids you could get them. If you want a gun-for-hire you could get one. A dragon? Sure. If Walter White’s Ol’ Blue was a real thing you could buy it on The Silk Road.
Then the Government — who is CLOSED — shut down this digital Westeros Market two days ago. And I completely missed the party!
Now, I’m not a purveyor of the drug marketplace, nor a customer of illicit trade, but (without being gross) you have to wonder what the hell else was on that site? It’s like the subway after 1am — you don’t want to be on it, but you’re kind of curious to know what’s on it, and never know what you’re going to find…or what will find you.
Or would the Silk Road have been more like Amazon, where in my shopping cart I’ll buy a book, a video game, a pair of running shoes and Keurig cups? Could I have had, on the Silk Road, a Russian Bride, a trebuchet, a list of usernames and passwords, and a high-tech military walkie-talkie?
And when it came to paying you weren’t using real money. You were using these things called bitcoins. It’s like when you played The Sims and used the cheat to get all of the § –Simoleon Dollars.
I could have called myself a Bitcoin Billionaire. I could have bought and imported two Bugattis from Dubai, along with some ridiculously illegal candy from Japan.
But now I’ll never find out just what kind of crazy things would be on there, and I will never know how far down the rabbit hole goes. Looks like I’m going to have to purchase all of the fun stuff the old fashioned way: another ridiculous kegger at the next UN meeting.