I need to come up with a costume like right now Bros. I need something that incorporates facial hair.
I can be either:
John Hammond from Jurassic Park
Pro: Get to wear Linen
Con: Spend night hunted by raptors
The Gorton’s Fisherman
Pro: Prepared for inclement weather
Con: All fish related pickup lines are “Offensive”
or Magnum PI
Pro: Sweet ride, Sweeter ‘stache
Con: People constantly confusing me for Mr. Baseball
For your edification, dear reader.
PS- I wanted to start the trash talking between me and PD “Tom Brady’s non-union Fluffer” Freeman, but god the jets and Pats looked bad.
BroCast News 
Should we star the trash-talking now? Jets totally won me the week in my Penalties-only fantasy league. Tepid support in a garbage victory! Ge-NO, Ge-NO, Ge-NO!