MUTOD: “The Inverted George Carlin”

So last week I spoke of people that I wanted to go away forever.  It sounded bitter, and it was angry, and very negative.  For example…a worthy addition to that last blog post of mine would be those people who tell you that to get rid of wrinkles you just need to put it in your bathroom and run the hot water in the shower.

That has NEVER worked.

Add those goddamn people to that goddamn list.  Goddamn it.  I wanted to believe it too.  I hate ironing so much that I wan…ted…to..

'Sup bitches?  Giraffe here to get us back on topic.

‘Sup bitches? Giraffe here to get us back on topic.

This week I want to talk about the people who shouldn’t go away.  They belong here, and with the world’s worst knowledge or logic I am going to explain why.  These are, after all, my uneducated thoughts.

I have a padded list.  By “padded” I mean I’m making this up as I go, so there is no particular (or hopefully discernable) order to these people.

1)  Volunteers/Donators – Is it too soon to be playing it safe?  Oh shit.  But let’s talk about these people who actually do volunteer work at soup kitchens, hospitals, and how they commit their time to do it.  There’s no money in it.  Court-order mandated or not, there’s enough of them at any given time to keep certain things running, and there are at least a handful of good souls who actually take the time to do it because they want to.

Before I get a hypocrite stamp, just because I did it when I was younger doesn’t make me exempt from doing it now.

Fair enough.

I give blood often…?

2)  Bronies – Wait wait come back come back.  Let me — stop judging — let me explain this before I have to answer questions about this subject in a future conversation I will never have.  Call it a disclaimer.  I will never understand Bronies fully.

I understand having a nostalgic soft spot for show you liked as a kid, but this My Little Pony “rebirthed” has only existed for less than four years.  I actually betrayed my uneducated theme to look that up.  Sorry that was a slip up.

Bronies and Furries are not the same.  I’m assuming that because I really don’t want to risk looking that up.  I just read this, that’s all, I swear.

The “Reception” part was all I needed to get through.  There’s a reason why “Rule 44” is known.  Nasty.

So I guess if I’m trying to put a positive spin here I’ve been doing a really shitty job.

But I will say this.  The fact that there is a fanbase of something that brings people together is kind of nice, even though I don’t understand BronyCons, I guess there is a pure and genuine reason for these people to appreciate the same thing and not be shitty to one another?

Seriously.  Someone tell me.  What. The. Fuck?

Again, shit, underselling it.  Look, it’s something that unites people together over nothing malice or hostile or against anybody, or perverted then I guess it can’t be the worst thing to happen to fully grown men.  I mean there is One Direction…

Speaking of things that unite people…

3)  Stoners – Laugh it out now.  Go ahead.  I’ll give you a minute.  This becomes speculation from here on out, but in your head how many stoners (not druggies) did you know that were aggressive or hostile?  Stoners can range from passive to high functioning, but unless someone slips into paranoia most stoners are just a lot more relaxed.  When the Native Americans had meetings with settlers and they smoked a “peace pipe” what the fuck do you think they were doing?  It’s the chemicals.  Pipe that shit into a UN meeting and see how many conflicts could get solved.  But then don’t allow anyone to go home.  Oh, and make sure the vending machines are full of goodies and free of charge.

"Just so you know Syria, --  EVERYBODY KNOWS."

“Just so you know, Syria, EVERYBODY KNOWS.”

Maybe we could avoid more of this Syria powder keg, police-the-world bullshit.

4) Kickstarters – The fact that this exists now to allow people the opportunity to fund their dreams amaze me.  From cool watches to video games there are people on there who are impassioned enough to show it online to the world, and have the balls to ask people for money.  The world’s next Jerry Can could be born on there.

5)  4chan – Hold on again, hold on.  This is another one of those that has to have a disclaimer.  All I know of FourChan is what my friends from Essex County tell me.  There’s just a ton of stuff on there, and depending on what you find it’s like a garbage dump/Diagon Alley of the internet where you can find anything.

Probably with a lot less magic and a lot more "magic."

Probably with a lot less magic and a lot more “magic.”

But it is all subjective depending on your experiences there, because the boards are like a constantly fluctuating tidal wave with over X amount of people on from all over the world all the time.  How moderators can be on top of things boggles my mind

Fair enough.

With the amount of people on such a big part of the internet you could really get a message out to people if you were able to get enough people on board if you knew the right buttons to push.

In fact, most impressively and worth keeping around are those people who can actually breach the depths of the internet and are responsible for memes in the first place.  There is a reason why Rick Roll’d is a “thing,” or if it’s been a while since I wrote this, was a thing a very long time ago, (see trolling) and I am old enough to remember the original YTMND pre-Shockwave.

It's where I first heard it.  Or was it Ebaumsworld?  Or Newgrounds?

It’s where I first heard it.  Or was that Ebaumsworld?  Newgrounds?

This list could go longer, but as Paul’s post has stated this has been an off week, and do I really want to put that much effort into this?

Subjective List of Other people Worth Keeping, But Don’t Require Lengthy Paragraphs Explaining Why:  

People who are decent.

People who celebrate human life.

People who give up their seat on the subway.

Men who prove that chivalry is not dead.

People who face their fears head-on.

People who visit museums, just because.

People who see something and say something.

People who argue, call-out, and debate intelligibly.

Cheeky Vandalists.

Cheeky Vandalists.

All Some Late night comedy show hosts, writers, etc.

People who “respect the system” of law, government, etc.

People who provide you with provocative thoughts:

CheekyVandalism_Provocative

Or thoughts that are just funny expressed succinctly:

Friendship

True Story: Paul texts me this bimonthly

People who commit random acts of kindness.

People who enjoy parks.

People who write stories.

People who write music.

People who take pictures, (but don’t need to put them on Instagram right away).

The person who made this sign.

Reverse Engineers

Book Readers

People who play board games.

Nerds.

And this woman, if she exists.  (Explanation)

And from the nerds this woman, if she exists. (Explanation)

About Eric

Frankie “The Red Panda” Funkaducciola RIP Uncle Prime
This entry was posted in Celebration, Current Events, General Ranting, Happy Stuff, Lists, MUTOD and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to MUTOD: “The Inverted George Carlin”

  1. Eric says:

    Yeah you could also throw Trayvon Martin in there, but that is an awkward conversation, and plus the question was how many do *you* know, fool.

  2. Jean Louise says:

    Eric you’re right about those shower steam liars. This made my life a lot better:

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003ZT2ZQA/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1378490798&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX110_SY165

    Never iron again!

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