The Pretentious Corner: The Breaking Bad Sort-Of-Live Blog – S05E11 – “Confessions”

Inspirational Lubricant Du Jour: Founders All Day IPA

Howdy clowns. Welcome to Part 3 of the Breaking Bad Season 5 Sort-of-Live Blog. Last week saw Lydia super-sizing the crazy, Todd getting in touch with his inner massacre, and walt trying desperately to both stay ahead of Hank and make sure his precious Benjamins stay safe.

“…all the live-long daaaaaaaaay.”

I also wondered whether we were ultimately headed for some accidental Walt-baby-murder a la Rabbit, Run and the more I think about it the more I feel we may be headed that way. Walt’s efforts to “protect his family” at all costs – which, in recent seasons, have been a mere ploy for making copious bank – surely have to come around on him at some point and I think the only way it feels satisfying is if his greed and hubris ultimately come back on his family. You know, like this guy:

Manfred Mann or Oedipus Rex? “Bliiiinded by the kniiiife!”

In other BB news, if you haven’t read this NY Times piece by Anna Gunn about the Skyler character, well, you should. Part of me is surprised that she’s surprised that the Internet contains soulless anonymity-fueled vitriol and part of me thinks she’s saying something interesting.

It’s 8.55 kids, so let’s get a-medicore-bloggin’!

9.00 – Man that Walt-Hank showdown was sooo good. I want to name a band “Tread Lightly.”

9.01 – Who was the last super-innocuous looking dude to be CARAZY EVIL a la Todd? Keyser Soze?

9.02 – My recent viewing of “Justified” tells me that’s Devil. Thought he done a good job on that there program.

9.04 – #goodstorytellerslovediners Never forget it.

9.06 – Weird teaser. A sort of “they’re all just that cold-blooded” reminder. Mass murder with a side of eggs. Are we thus supposed to think they’re more badass than every else Walt and co. have come up against? Hmmph.

9.08 – Camera off. This oughta be good.

9.09 – “Eat me!” Man, Tommy Moon would be so proud. Also – is it just me or are Hank’s eyebrows getting progressively lower and more furrowed with every episode?

9.11 – Love the way this scene is shot. Hank’s desperation completely evident in his body language.

9.15 – RJ Mitte has this way of making me never know if he’s sad, nervous or just himself. I think he’s a pretty underrated member of this cast. Has taken a character that started as a narrative device and turned him into something much more.

9.17 – My brother recently asked me if Betsey Brandt was hot. Is she? I think I dislike her character too much to pass judgment (which suggests that maybe Anna Gunn is onto something in the above editorial.)

*Interlude #1 – I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW. For the first time in 10 weeks. This is horrible. What does the word look like at 6.00 AM?*

9.21 – Walt rocking the crushed blue cardigan! Now that’s a man after my own amoral, murderous heart. If I had such a heart. I assure you my heart is full of puppies.

9.22 – LOW EYEBROWS.

9.22 – Aw man. Love Trey.

9.23 – It’s kind of wild that this conversation is even happening, isn’t it? How is everyone not strangling everyone? #redtaqueria

9.26 – It’s pretty damn low of Walt to use Junior as a chess piece. Goes back to my theory about his family. He’s been using them as his defense at every turn. That shit’s coming back on him. “Just kill yourself.” #stones

9.27 – WHOOOOOOOOOA. #stonesstonesstones

9.29 – Walt is sooooo good at playing the innocent. Which is crazy since he is also so good at being an evil genius. And he DID pay for the medical bills. And take the kids. Turning charity into blackmail. Straight hard. Phew.

9.31 – Stone. Cold.

9.32 – Walt just took the sand WEDGE out of his bag and planted it squarely between Hank and Marie. #seewhatididthere

9.33 – It’s amazing how much the tenor of the show has changed from the “Box Cutter” and Walt-running-down-crackheads days. I’m sure we’re in for a bloodbath at some point, but every scene is just a cerebral mindfuck these days. Love it.

9.36 – Here’s the aforementioned man who makes new men out of men. That’s where Mr. Lambert came from.

9.37 – This could so easily be a HS chemistry teacher good-naturedly counseling his effed up student. Except it’s a total front. And Jesse is finally live to it.

9.39 – Jesse. Killin’ me. And hopefully not himself.

9.40 – Guys. No one is going to watch “Low Winter Sun”. Just stop trying.

9.41 – The more I think about it the more it seems to me Jesse is getting the worst of all this. Am I wrong in thinking he’s the most sympathetic? It’s ironic when you consider that he was the most amoral at the start. He’s had this bizarre process of maturing and growing up by virtue of allying himself with someone who, it turns out, is waaaaay more fucked up in the head than he ever was. I really hope he doesn’t bite it. And that the series ends with him screaming “YEAH, BITCH!”

9.46 – Steve Gomez is the Tony Almeada of this show. Just let him do his job.

9.47 – Maybe Jesse can be a Car Wash Professional in his new life.

9.50 – If this is it for Jesse in any way shape or form I am going to be royally pissed. Like “leaf-on-the-wind” pissed.

9.51 – Phew.

9.52 – So that was a ricin revelation? Of what sort? That Walt duped him on the cigarette and is therefore responsible for poisoning the kid. I think, anyway.

9.53 – Cordelia! “Surviving Evil”? Oh how the mighty impossibly hot have fallen. 

9.59 – Looks like we’re headed for a Pupil vs. Master type sitcheeation. Darth Walt and Jesse-Won-Kenobi.

10.00 – Walt is being civil for no reason. He could easily just blow in and blow out. NBD.

10.01  – (Obligatory) Holy shit.

10.02 – Oh, “Low Winter Sun.” Providing a full-minute V.O. recap of your previous two episodes is just blatantly admitting that no one watched your show the first time!

Until next week!

P.D. Montgomery

About P.D. Montgomery

P.D. Montgomery writes a weekly column for BroCast News on all things pretentious. His interests include tweed, wool ties and Basil Hayden's - which is better than whatever bourbon you like.
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13 Responses to The Pretentious Corner: The Breaking Bad Sort-Of-Live Blog – S05E11 – “Confessions”

  1. Basil Hayden says:

    What’s the best diner scene in cinema? Pulp Fiction? When Harry Met Sally? Looper? My vote is still Reservoir Dogs. “Why do I have to be Mr. Brown?”

  2. Basil Hayden says:

    Also, think there should be an article where you discussed the Anna Gun article; there’s a lot to unpack in there. Personally, I think she unfairly connects her character to a feminist viewing of the show. It’s possible to not like a character who is written as an antagonist and not also be against strong women.

    • P.D. Montgomery says:

      It does some a little whiny and accusatory, doesn’t it? Feels like she missed the boat on the fact that a) people are horrible and b) the internet is a horrible person’s paradise.

      • Basil Hayden says:

        And the simple fact that it’s a bit hypocritical to say that the viewers are over-simplifying the analysis of her character, when she seems to be over-simplifying the feminist argument in her response. However, I think we can agree that Marie is the far worse character than Skyler.

  3. Basil Hayden says:

    Hank drinks Knob Creek! Solid choice. Not the best, but…

  4. Basil Hayden says:

    Not sure Walt’s feelings for Jesse are a front. I think he does think of Jesse as a son/protege. In typical Walt rationale, he is trying to “protect has family.” He wants to be the good guy, and the way to do that is to make Jesse whole again; to be responsible for giving him a new life. This way he can be looked at fondly. He’s the classic guy who just wants everybody to like him; that teacher who always seemed a bit phony because he/she always seemed to be trying to connect, be a pal, or tell you how hard yelling at you was for him/her. (CONFESSION: it’s not often that hard).

    • P.D. Montgomery says:

      I suppose the question is whether Jesse is as expendable as everyone else. Maybe because he’s borderline family? Or has been getting there? I still think Walt is more front than anything. He’s the ultimate egomaniac.

      • Basil Hayden says:

        Right, but in his head I think he believes he’s being honest and true. Also, everybody seems to be “parenting” Jesse. Even Saul.

  5. Paul says:

    So you two are both the same person, right?

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