‘Boner’ Means two things!

I was all set to rock your worlds today. I had a Dynamite blog about it being Summer time,  the end of the Zimmerman trial last week (He’s apparently saving citizens from non fatal one car accidents like the low rent Super Hero he always wanted to be[for the record, only a trained medical professional should move car accident victims to prevent further injury…. trained professionals and volunteer neighborhood watch members]), and the media searching for it’s next big story. They thought ther found it when the mighty khaleesi Kate Middleton birthed a great and king (records note that the child was fair of hair, so rest easy Ned Stark).

Got my obligatory Nerd reference in early this week. Now if I can shoehorn in my trademark ‘dog in people clothes’ picture I can call it day.

The media has been in a frenzy about the pint sized monarch, and bookies the world over are taking a lot of action on what to name it. This is silly of course, as there is only one name fit for a king:

Academy Award winner Peter O’toole was in this?

I’m sure we can count on the Royal family to screw it up, This is the same family that took a month to name their son “George”. So choose carefully and get your bets in folks!

We’re in the doldrums of summer folks, where most reporters are on vacation and those that aren’t are just phoning it in. My blog was this close to becoming a generic rant about overly elaborate wedding RSVPs, or whining about helping friends move. But then, the news bestowed upon us a great gift. Like a unicorn that can’t stop tweeting pictures of his horn to sexy underaged unicorns Anthony Weiner’s weiner has yet again reared it’s ugly head.

Somebody buy me this book, I need hot tips on how to wear a sweater vest.

He now stands accused of sexting with a 22 year old while using the name “Carlos Danger”I couldn”t even make that up if I tried. But he’s not pulling out this time, he’s just going to keep coming and coming until he finishes on top as our new mayor. I wonder if the New York Post kept any puns in reserve, or if they just blew their load on Anthony Weiner’s first sexting scandal. I imagine their warroom is buzzing with activity, as they try and rhyme “Huma” With “Fuming” (“Huma is Fuma-ing” btw, thanks Post, please hire me for a million dollars a year please).

It’s beautiful… sheer poetry.

I honestly can’t even process the amount of chutzpah this guy has. I love it. New York Politicians should be all bread and games, to distract us from the fact that we’re drifting into a weird CitiBike funded racist fascist nanny state. If you guys will excuse me, I need to take the rest of the week to process all of the puns I can make about Anthony “Carlos Danger” and his Weiner.

FYI Kate, ‘Rex’ is both a popular dogs name and latin for king… think about it, I got a lot of money riding on this.