Tommy Moon Forgot How to Internet

The title says it all. Honestly, I have no idea. But it happened. So, here’s his weekly post. I haven’t read it yet, but I’m sure it’s terrifying, misspelled, and vaguely patriotic. Go nuts.

Hey,  It the 4th of July. A great holiday to celebrate our Independence from Jolly Ole England. So we blow up shit, eat too many hot dogs, have car sales,and hit the beach and BBQ. We in NYC run to the Hamptons, Jersey Shore, or the country, well not all of us. Some of the smart ones,me, stay in town. The place is empty. no lines for the theater, Hi Ho SILVER AND AWAY. No lines at restaurants, we have a table ready sir. No lines for the many museums, dont tell my wife. No traffic , just those dumb bikes,and thanks to some idiots in city hall, NO FIREWORKS FOR MOST OF THE MOST POPULATED PARTS OF THE FUCKIN CITY. You see some committee of either politicians or Donald Trumps best bankers decided to put in in the Hudson, not the east river, and give Jersey a great big fuckin 4th. Thats right Jersey and the middle of  Manhattan . Bingo. no Brooklyn, No Bronx , No Queens and hardly any Staten Island, wherever that is. Well done. so basically just Jersey and all the tourist near Times Square and the 79st upper Westsiders. Guess where all the bankers and politicians live . Wrong in Westchester but their kids and their Show biz friends all live there but they are in the Fuckin Hamptons waiting for an open table at some over the top restaurant . You cant make this up. Macys also has a hand in this so lets boycott the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Enough of Ryan Secreast, or whatever his name is. In case you care this is also the day of the most important battle of our Civil War which reinforced our independence as One Nation. I believe more American Soldiers died in this battle than any other in our history. Lets remember these brave Americans, no matter what side, for their sacrifice in the name of country. Enjoy the sound of the fireworks because you cant see them. Eat me

 

About Paul

By reading this blog, you legally forfeit your right to cry, eat tofu, or watch movies where people kiss in the rain and sh*t!
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