It could be today’s Tom Waits/Neil Young/Sad Old Man Songs Forever playlist talking, but it is a decidedly down in the dumpskies type Saturday around here. Maybe it’s because there is a series of unpleasant tasks I’ve procrastinated, threatening to eat my little weekend alive. Maybe it’s because I read the news. Maybe I haven’t had enough coffee.
Maybe it’s because I subjected myself to this “30 under 30” list- “The Most Powerful 20-somethings in NYC”.
[Paul, don’t click on that.]
Not surprisingly, it’s a lot of pretty young people mogul-ing this and that. I have not mogul-ed a single thing! Is that what’s bringing me down? Couldn’t say. However, I’ve resolved not to be a bitter and miserable whiner every time I sit down to blob at you. Which is what we might call this manner of blogging in which the delivery of thoughts from my brain most resembles your lunch lady piling mashed potatoes and mystery gravy on to a plastic tray.
I don’t care what you think, that stuff was good.
Anyway. I’ve decided to make my own “30 under 30” list and say, better luck next week!
30 Under 30:
30 Nice Things I Can Say (Instead of Saying Nothing at All) in 29 Minutes
1. You look nice today.
2. I had plenty of Baileys to put in my coffee this morning.
3. Mashed potatoes and mystery gravy.
4. Yesterday when I was at a Whole Foods in midtown “Call Me Maybe” came on the radio and nearly the entire store started bobbing their heads and singing. Aw.
5. Look at the number 5! It’s a good one.
6. My bathtub is leaking, but it isn’t leaking that bad.
7. How about a joke? What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter, he isn’t coming.
8. Just kidding. I call mine Cigarette. Take him out for a drag now and then.
9. Was that not nice? Dogs though:
10. None of my houseplants are dead.
11. Did you know that 11 is my favorite number? I’m not even making this up because making this list is so damn hard.
12. If you like sun and heat, it’s a really nice day outside.
13. If you don’t like those things, it’s a really nice day inside.
14. Paul might fire me for this post, but it would be nice if he didn’t.
15. I had a brunch of pizza and licorice because I can if I want to.
16. Game of Thrones
18. I had a cold but then it got better.
19. Less than 50% of my dishes are dirty so I’m probably getting a medal.
20. I now need to name 10 things in 7.5 minutes. Challenges are good for people in theory!
21. This might be the first time I post a post before 5 PM.
23. I might not even have to plug in my computer before this thing is done.
24. Macbook Pro!
25. Robyn understands.
27. Today is not Monday.
28. My time is up! Keep going, even when you fail!
29. This is almost over!
30. This is over!
Chin up. As you were.
I can’t fire you. You’re our “diversity hire.”
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